The Downsides Of The Player Lifestyle

Being a player can be lots of fun!

You’re free to hit on any girl you want, you get to sleep with different girls, you get to hang out with different girls, have different conversations, learn different things, sleep with multiple girls at the same time, date multiple girls at the same time, develop your personality because of the variety and many other benefits of living the player life that I teach on my site.

Pretty much every guy wants to live like this, sleeping with a lot of girls is the dream for many guys.

I’ve been living this life for most of my twenties, besides a 2 year relationship I’ve been single for 8 out of the last 10 years and I’ve worked hard to make this a reality.

I’ve slept with a lot of girls and have experienced the benefits that I have listed above.

But like all things in life, this player life has its cons.

I’ve been wanting to publish this article for a while but after the shitty week I’ve had with girls I’ve decided to finish it off and publish it.

This week sucked for me in terms of girls. So Sunday afternoon I was going for a bike ride when I stopped in a busy area at a beach.

I saw this cute girl laying on her back under one of the trees with her headphones on. At first I thought she may be to young so I rode a bit closer to her and saw that she was in her mid-twenties and decided to swallow my fear and approach her (even after all these approaches I still get fear of approach sometimes) this girl was a solid 9 out of 10, great face, boobs and body.

I rode up to her and she saw me coming over.

Me “hey”

Her “hello”

Me “I know this is random but I just saw you, thought you were cute and wanted to meet you”

Her “smiled, we exchanged names”

Me “what are you up to today?” she was just on her lunch break as she was working at one of the restaurants nearby.

Me after noticing she had an accent “where are you from”

Her “Columbia”

Me “ohhh benoz diaz haha”

Her “you speak Spanish?”

Me “no that’s all I know haha”

We talked some more about how long she has been here, about a latin club event that is on every week In my city and she offered to teach me how to dance salsa and teach me more Spanish.

She seemed very chilled and keen. Like a YES girl. We exchanged numbers and agreed to catch up soon.

I was very happy that I made shit happen, I saw a girl I was really into (love Latinas) got the balls to approach her cold in a day game environment with other people watching me. And the interaction went very well and I thought she was a yes girl! That with the high I already had from my bike ride, I was pumped!

A few hours later I texted her saying it was nice meeting her and have a nice night at work (she finished at 9pm)

Now she messaged me back at 9.30 which was fine. Nothing suss as she was at work and technically didn’t have to reply to that message. All good.

The next day I messaged her at 10.30 am asking how she was and what was she up to today.

She messaged me 3 and a half hours later saying “sorry I was in class that’s why I didn’t answer earlier. I just finished and I’m on my way to work but tomorrow is my day off. Where do you work?”

Now normally when a girl takes 3 hours to respond that is a good sign she is going to be a maybe girl. Remember yes girls are on! They message back quickly and everything goes smoothly. In this case I didn’t think she was a maybe girl because she had a good reason. She was in class and couldn’t use her phone at all so I was like all good.

From 2pm to 2.30 we exchanged a bunch of messages quickly and then I asked her if she would like to catch up for some food and drinks and she was like “sure! Tomorrow is my day off so let’s do tomorrow” so we planned that. Good. (Normally I would just suggest a drink date to keen cost low but I didn’t want to leave anything on the table with this hottie so thought I would treat her and win her over)

The next morning I messaged her at 10 am confirming the plans tonight, where we were going and what time I was picking her up.

She messaged me back at 2.30 again saying “sounds great!”

I just assumed she had a day off at work but still had class again hence the 4 hour delay. Not a maybe girl I thought.

I was meant to pick her up at 7pm. She messaged me at 5.30pm saying sorry but she was really tired and was wanting to know if we could change to Thursday night instead as she has another day off work on Thursday night.

I was a bit annoyed but I was pretty tired myself as I didn’t get much sleep the night before and I worked all day but just said yeah all good get some rest I will see you Thursday night.

She said “great! Thankyou see you Thursday!”

That was Tuesday, I didn’t text her at all on Wednesday, on Thursday morning at 11 am I messaged her “how are you? Good for tonight?”

She didn’t reply all day

At 4pm I was getting annoyed, “I need to know..” I messaged her.

At 4.30pm she messaged me “I’m sorry, forgive me, I can’t tonight, I’ll explain to you later”

I didn’t reply to her and never heard from her again.

This one hurt me in the feelz lol, she was smoking hot and after all my efforts and getting my hopes up it went absolutely nowhere. Just a big waste of time.

A strong MAYBE to a NO girl confirmed.

Remember guys, when a girl takes a long time to reply she’s a maybe girl, its 2019, even if she’s in class she’s still going to be using her phone.

But what a piece of shit for saying to me she was keen to meet up and all that and then goes silent after cancelling the second time.

She should have just ghosted me earlier on if she wasn’t keen.

Normally I don’t really care but this girl was hot! And my one of my favourite types! Latina!

But that’s the way the game is played guys, I know you boys have been there aswel.

But that was only part of this week.

I had a hot 8 out of 10 on tinder, another Columbian actually, saying she was keen to meet up during this week aswel  and on the day the same thing happened, no reply.. Is it just me or are these Latinas flakey as fuck lol? I haven’t delt with many as there aren’t a whole lot in Australia as there are in America.

Anyways I had a cute Chinese girl keen to meet up Friday night, a yes girl! She worked in the city so I agreed to meet her in the city at 6 for food and drinks. Again normally I do drink dates (a couple drinks) to keep cost low but figured it’s easier because she was in the city at time plus I forgot my rules on myself lol!

We met up at 6, she was ok looking not as hot as her tinder photos, maybe a 6-7 out of 10, nerdy office worker girl, not coming across as sexually available.

We went to this bar next to her work for food and drinks, fucking expensive. Probably because of the high price of rents in the city, 2 drinks and 3 share plates came to $90. I ended up paying and she didn’t offer to pay at all, so I just payed because it’s awkward to ask and I was still planning to try and sleep with her at this point.

After dinner we take a walk and talk some more. She asked me more and more questions about myself and after she found out how I’ve been single for most of my twenties she asked me more and was basically asking me if I was player.

Normally I don’t say shit and just say I’m open to whatever happens  but this girl was really nice and made it clear she was looking for something serious, had a history of monogamy and all that.

I realised at this point she wasn’t sexually available and besides I was not that into her and I was annoyed that I couldn’t be bothered with this date anyways plus I just wasted $100 (dinner plus parking fee) and wasted my time.

I just came out and said I’m not looking for anything serious blah blah blah lol

After talked some more she said “that’s us done then, we won’t go any further” but we talked some more and she thanked me for dinner and said good luck with my travels and goals I told her about. I said she was a nice girl and all that then I drove home.

I drove home and went to bed that night thinking what a fucking shit week and what a waste of money (approximately 5 hours work for me because I make about $20 per hour after tax) so I blew 5 out of the 8 hours I worked that day for fuck all. I could have just stayed home and relaxed lol. Ah well, at least the food was very tasty.

Yeah.. shit week. I decided I will avoid food dates at all cost from now on. Just a drink or 2 and try to get to girl to pay if she wants more.

Anyways I know I will meet some good fun girls soon so looking forward to that.  Now back to the article.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the player life and will continue to live it unless I decide otherwise. But in this article I simply want to explain the downsides that I have experience as a result of living this lifestyle.

Many guys haven’t experienced the player life and its downsides to the level I have because I’ve put in a lot of effort into this. Many guys want to sleep with lots of girls but aren’t cut out for it because they are lazy, scared, or maybe some other reason.

For this reason the downsides I explain aren’t so obvious to the average man in society who doesn’t sleep with a lot of girls.

Here we go, in no particular order, the downsides.


This is the biggest one that holds a lot of guys back, fear of getting rejected.

I have been rejected countless of times. If you aren’t getting rejected you aren’t getting laid.

Over the years I have developed a very thick skin to rejection. I don’t care. I know this is a numbers game and I plough through the numbers. I LOVE THE NUMBERS GAME! It’s fun to me. I know that the more nos I get I’m closer to a yes. And the yes’s are always worth it.

But some guys can’t take rejection. They take it personally. Out of all the approaches I’ve done I’ve hardly had a mean rejection. Usually the girl just says she has a boyfriend or no for some other non personal reason.

Other times you get her number and you message a bit or even go on a date then it doesn’t go anywhere. This is still a rejection but it’s part of the numbers game.

I don’t mind rejection. But I have to admit it always sucks when you’ve put yourself on the line and you get rejected. Try getting rejected hundreds and thousands of times and let’s see how many guys can accept that.

You need to be like a thick skinned cold calling sales man with this.


Ok this gets me sometimes, like my story above. Getting your hopes up.

I’ve talked about yes, no and maybe girls before.

Getting your hopes up is when you come across a girl you are really attracted to. Let’s say you day game approach a really hot girl and she gives you her number. You get really excited because she’s texting back and then you pitch the date but she goes quiet. Or you go on a date with her but after that nothing eventuates.

You’ve been excited since the first time you saw her to approaching her then she gave you her number so you got even more excited then you went on a date which got your hopes up even more but then nothing happens.

You’ve just waisted all that time and effort and emotional energy.

And she’s gone. Never messages you back again. done.

It sucks, it’s happened to me many times. Usually as a result of getting the number but then that goes nowhere.

If you live the player life prepare to get your hopes up for nothing many many  times.

But you just have to remember that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. You have to be proud that you approached in the first place.

Remember success is the journey, not the destination. Be proud of yourself. And try not to get so emotionally invested next time.


From night club entry fees, to drinks, to food, to parking tickets, to events to ubers to fuel.

The player life cost money. And sometimes its wasted money.

If you go on a date with a girl you need get in your car, use your fuel, buy a parking ticket, buy a couple drinks, maybe buy something else. Each date is easily $20/$30 if you’re doing this smart like me!

Even if I’m going on a couple dates a week with different girls that’s $50

Other guys buy dinners, hotel rooms, lots of drinks, multiple dates etc and spend hundreds.

My stats tell me that at the moment 1 out of 2 girls I go on dates with ends with us sleeping together.

That means that half these dates and the money I spent on them is wasted!

Sometimes I will go on multiple dates with these girls who go nowhere. Usually 2 or 3 max.

It’s not much money per date in my case but it adds up. And if you’re spending a lot on these dates you’re blowing a lot of hard earned money!

Another thing is going to the clubs, if your blowing a lot on entry fees, drinks and bottle service and you’re not having fun just to try and get laid that’s a lot of money!

Granted having a girlfriend or being married has a lot of cost aswel but the point is the player life can be a waste of money.

The way to do it is do it cheaply like me. Avoid dinner dates, just a couple drinks and call it a night.

Or if the girl wants to come straight over to your house for a date that’s even better!


Doing day game, doing night game, using dating apps, approaching, talking, swiping, dates etc is all time consuming!

And the bulk of that time is essentially wasted if you’re only sleeping with some of those girls you spent time on.

This is all time you could be spending on anything else. Like making money, relaxing, doing hobbies, doing chores around the house, seeing friends, anything else lol.

But its necessary time if you want to live the player life to the extreme.

The way around this is to be very efficient with your time. Do day game as part of your normal day if you’re going to the shops or something. If you go out to the bar for your mate’s birthday do some night game.

If you go out specifically for day game or night game then be efficient! Talk to at least 5 girls if you do day game and 5-10 in night game but talk to even more if you’re staying out there for longer.

And know when to stop wasting time on a girl when it’s not going anywhere and cut her off!

Time is the most important thing we have, money is replaceable, time is not.

Be smart with your time.


If you’re living the player life and you’re bare backing every girl and cumming inside them odds are sooner or later you will get an std or even get a girl pregnant!

In my early twenties I was a bit more reckless and didn’t wrap up on a lot of girls and came inside a bunch of them who were on the pill.

While I was lucky enough not to get a girl pregnant I did get chlamydia once. Luckily it’s easily cured by a couple antibiotics.

Then In my mid-twenties I decided to play it smarter and now I wrap up and don’t cum inside girls who are on the pill. Read my how to avoid stds and unwanted pregnancies guides here and here

As for the other guys out there who are bare backing and cumming inside girl after girl. There’s a chance once day you will get an std, maybe an incurable one or maybe one day one of these girls will contact you and say she’s going to keep the baby and then you’re going to be a daddy.


If you’re going on multiple dates per week at night after work or you’re going out to the clubs on the weekend you will probably be getting less sleep.

Sometimes I will have to start work early the next day and I probably should be at home in bed but I’m on a date or sleeping with girl and its cutting into my sleep time.

This sounds like a silly reason to complain about to the guy who doesn’t get laid at all. He wouldn’t care if he feels like shit the next day he’s getting laid!!

But when you’re regularly getting laid and going on multiple dates a week you start to want to just stay home and go to sleep early especially if you have an early start or had a busy day before the date.

The way around this is try to end the date/sex session early enough so you get your 8 hours.

As for going to clubs to get laid, I don’t do that often anymore. If you go to a club and get a one night stand, your night and whole next day is fucked. You will get zero sleep and if you’re like me and can’t sleep well during the day you will feel like crap all Sunday. I rather go out for a little while to a bar or something and get numbers instead of getting laid that night then leaving early so I feel good and don’t waste the next day. That way I can even do some day game the next day if I want.


For us guys living this player lifestyle all we are thinking about is this from our point of view.

I got her number, she wants to meet up, I hope I bang her, I banged her, I want to retain her and bang her more etc.

But for the girls it could be completely different “oh this nice guy has approached me and is interested in me, maybe he likes me, wants to be my boyfriend, he’s so nice, funny, charming, caring, I will sleep with him because I like him to, oh I wonder why after a few months of sleeping with me he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend, oh dam I’m getting played”

Granted some girls pretend to want more just so they don’t look slutty when really they were happy with just having sex aswel, but a lot of girls think like the above with all this.

Although I live this player lifestyle I actually don’t hurt girl’s feelings as much as you would think or as much as other guys doing a similar thing would.

There have been times in the past where it was evident that a girls feelings were hurt because of me but most times the girls were happy to see me even when it didn’t work out long term.

I love women and love to treat them very well, I make them feel good, make them laugh, listen to them, tease them, buy them a drink or dessert or something sometimes, send them memes lol.

But I don’t lie to girls or promise them anything that will never happen.

I don’t ever be mean to girls.

You should never say to girl you love her or you want her to be your girlfriend when you know you never will.

You should never lie to a girl, or yell at her, or manipulate her, or anything else that’s bad.

This will definitely hurt the girl and you don’t deserve her company.

And you should definitely never try to sleep with a girl who doesn’t want to have sex!

You can live the player life without hurting girl’s feelings. In fact, even if it doesn’t end in a monogamous relationship like she may have wanted, she will still be happy she met you because you gave her a good time.


I have been in a serious monogamous relationship before where you really connect with a girl, you know her well, you’re both “in love”, the sex gets better and better, you don’t have to wear a condom and you don’t have to worry about getting as std, you don’t have to chase other girls or go on meetups with randoms. Good times!

But in the player lifestyle you don’t get to that deep level. But you do get all the benefits of the player lifestyle.

Will freemen from RLD has a great article on the different types of relationships and the benefits here. Check it out!

Remember guys, like everything, monogamy has its downsides to, boredom, divorce, child support, cheating etc, that’s a whole different article.


Lastly, its hard work! The mental preparation, the approaches, the time spent in day game or clubs, the flakes, the rejections, the going on dates when you can’t be bothered. Everything! It’s tough, a lot of guys can’t be bothered and decide to live a life of no girls or settle and get married with some girl that they can get.


There you have it guys, the downsides of being a full on player and also an insight in my week. This article is not to discourage you it’s to show you the knowledge and perspective that this lifestyle has some big downsides!

Like I said, even after all that I still love it. I love meeting different girls, have different conversations and learning new things from them, I love having different sexual experiences and love how I can do this while not having to be in a monogamous relationship. I love that I can live my life how I want it and have freedom of choice!

And if you do it right the girls will love it to!

Life is like a game and it’s up to you how you wish to play it.


  1. Man, thats nothing what happened to you.
    Mine week was 100% more terrible.
    I approached 10/10 girl. She was so fucking hot. I approached her in a bus. It was great pick up from me. We went to insta date. It was so fucking good. She was saying like:
    “OMG you study there, take me there. We can go to escape game, to cinema etc..”.
    She texted me immediately when she came home. I was 100% sure there will be some serious relationship. Two days later we went on second date. She touched me a lot. Took my hands, hugs me etc..Super awesome.
    On third day she invited me to her place and we had really good sex. Day later we went to some trip and there she acted like we are friends no touch nothing.
    Third day she replies me with one word messages, total ignore.
    Now it is week from it and still she ignores me.
    MAN WHAT THE FUCK? You get pissed from one fucking date? Look at what happened to me…

    • Hey Dave

      Im sorry to hear about that bro, I really am. I know the feeling from some of my earlier days and even now when I get a cute girl and it goes no where. Every guy has been through it and will go through it again.

      Look bro, the best thing you can do is not be upset, look on the bright side, you should be proud of yourself for having the balls to pick her up on the bus! Most guys wont even do that! then you even went on a few dates with her and slept with her, that’s great man! well done.

      Its a shame she doesn’t want to go any further at this stage, that could be for many reasons man, you might not be the reason, but ask yourself, was there any reason she might have became less interested in you from the last time you guys met? or did she say anything that made it seem like she only wanted a one night stand or something?

      From how she responded in my past experiences I would say its not worth trying to contact her again and that generally pushes girls more away, the best you can do is keep up the good work, keep trying and within no time you will meet another girl just as cute or even cuter and she will stay around this time. Keep your head up bro!

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