Should you get married?
Before I start this article I would just like to say that I am 27 years old and I am not married nor have I ever been married. This article is based on my thoughts and experiences at this stage.
I never wanted to get married. Even from a young age I knew I wanted to be single and enjoy many different girls instead of staying with one for my whole life.
I also didn’t want a family and kids. This never really appealed to me in my teens and early twenties. I have always been more motivated by other things like building wealth, travelling and picking up different girls.
I also didn’t like the risks involved with getting married. Things like divorce, child support, boredom, stress etc.
To this day I haven’t really changed, although in these last couple years I am open to the possibility of marriage and a family one day. And I will explain how my thought process has changed.
From 18 to 25 I was single. I was a full on player. I never got attached to any girl. No girl ever gave me the feels.
It wasn’t until the start of 2016 that I met a girl who changed my life. From our first date I felt something different for her and over time I fell in love with her. She ticked almost every box on my “how to find the right girl” article and for once in my twenties I decided to go into a monogamous relationship with her.
We went out for almost two years but unfortunately we had to break up this year even though we are still in love. I won’t go into it but I just wanted to highlight that I met a girl who ticked almost all the boxes and was special to me.
This girl made me happy, she would do anything for me, I found her really sexy, she loved fucking me but she was also very submissive, shy and feminine. She was a real girly girl.
She also loved kids, she was a real caring, motherly girl who will make a great mother and wife one day.
Like I said, she would do anything for me, and I fell hard for her, I would do anything for her as well.
Now here’s one reason why I was open to having a family. I knew that what would make this girl happy were a nice family and her own kids. And because I wanted to make her happy. I was willing to give her that one day if we worked out. One day when you really meet a special girl you will know what I’m talking about.
One day you will like a girl so much that her happiness is just as important as your own. A lot of girls are inexperienced and feel this with the wrong girls and to those guys I encourage you to gain more experience and read my “how to pick the right girl article” and screen the fuck out of girls before you attempt to get married.
I had over 10 years’ experience with many different girls before I found this girl so I know I wasn’t just catching the feels like some inexperienced guy.
I know that if you lost a girl like this because you didn’t want to give her what she wants, a family and kids, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I knew this early on so I was open to the idea of it.
In the end we had to break up for a different reason so it will never happen but I am still open to the possibility of a family and kids in the future because of my experience with her and also for another reason which I will explain now.
I grew up in a stable family and my parents are still together today. I have first had experience what it’s like growing up in a stable, happy, fulfilling family.
I could not have asked for a better upbringing. Growing up my family would go out to dinners, picnics, overseas, bike rides, to the beach, to the movies and all sorts of other places with other families and I was hanging out with the kids in the other families. I had an awesome childhood because of this.
Even today I can see the benefits of family life. At a family all has dinner together and you have someone to talk to and talk about your day. It adds energy and companionship to the household. The chores of the house hold are also shared around so you don’t have to do everything yourself.
I also think the whole process of getting married, having a cool wedding, going on a honeymoon, having babies, raising a life, going on family holidays and doing weekend activities with other families would be an awesome life experience.
My dad even tells me today “get married one day because if you don’t you will be very bored and lonely especially when all your friends get married and you have no none to hang out with”
He is right in a way. Sure I could have some friends and have some fuck buddies but that might lack the fulfilment of family and family companionship.
I’m 50/50 on the whole marriage and kids thing at this stage, I can be perfectly happy being single my whole life and doing my own thing but if I meet another girl like my ex, who ticks every box to a T then I might consider it.
Because let’s face it guys, single life sucks for most guys, unless you are a very high value guy, you will need to put in work to sleep with a lot of attractive girls, and don’t tell me otherwise, I’m about an 8 out of 10 and have spent countless hours in clubs over the years, or day game, or tinder and I know how tough it is, I can fuck 8s and below without much trouble but 9s come around rarely and 10s are almost impossible. If you are a tall (6.1-6.2) very good looking, guy well then good luck to you because you will have an easier time in the single life but for the average guys we need to put in consistent work.
So what I’m saying is don’t always listen to what other guys or the media is telling you. Single life can be tough. So if you have met someone very special and rare. Stay with her. Because if you don’t you will regret it for the rest of your life when your 40 and having an even harder time picking up decent girls then you are now.
I also think as you get older your priorities change where you might not want to chase pussy all the time and would love to have the companionship of your kids, grandkids and wife if you are still together.
Another pro of marriage and kids is the wealth you guys will generate if you stay together for life. In the first 10 or so years when the babies are born and the kids are growing up usually the guy is working his ass off to support the family and if you decide to get divorced at say 40 it’s pretty devastating for the guy because all that wealth was built by you. But let’s say you don’t get divorced and you wife goes back to work at 40 years of age or so. You will build wealth very quickly compare to a single bachelor. If you both work until 60 that’s 20 years of double full time incomes! If seen this in real life where long term married families end up in big homes or have several investment properties and travel and have everything else.
So that’s the pros of getting married, but just like everything in life there are pros and cons, and with marriage there are massive cons.
I have read somewhere that in today’s age the average marriage has a 50% divorce rate! That’s bad. And that’s not the worst thing. 70% of these divorces are initiated by woman!
So with that you have to split the wealth which could be unfair because for the first 10 years or so the wife is looking after the kids so isn’t earning a lot of income which means most of that accumulated wealth was built by you! That sucks.
Even if your wife is working a bit or you’re earning some government allowance for the kids, you will still probably be better off single and keeping your wealth to yourself because the added expenses of the kids will decimate your wealth building abilities.
If you want a family and kids you will be financing that. Simple as that.
Why do half of marriages end in divorce and most of these divorces initiated by woman? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because once the kids have grown up the wife gets bored of being married and wants to get the fuck out. Maybe she wants to live the single life again which is kind of silly since a lot of a woman’s value is based on her looks and youth and by that age a lot of that is gone. It’s harsh to say I know but that’s how the world works.
At the end of the day we humans are still animals and we may not be built for monogamy.
A lot of red pill and MGTOW guys will tell you flat out never get married and have kids! Check out this video by will from revolutionary lifestyle design where his advice is don’t get married!
But like always, people with a strong opinion is usually not right. We know that in life everything has pros and cons. A strong opinion is a closed minded opinion.
They also say. Don’t get legally married. If you want a family and kids the girl can move in with you but if you get married she can legally take half of your shit. And maybe this is true in USA or something but where I’m from in Australia. Even if you are not married and the girl is living with you for a certain period of time in a defacto relationship. She can still legally take some of your wealth just like if you are married. So in Australia at least you might aswell get married if you want to live with a girl and have a family with her.
Aaron Clarey offers advice similar to mine where yes we can be against marriage but agree if you really do find the right girl you might want to get married to her. Check out this video of his.
So as you can see marriage comes with huge risk. So what’s my advice?
I think you should think like me, keep doing your thing, focus on yourself and see many different girls, but always have your checklist for that “wifey for lifey” in the back of your head, see if she ticks most the boxes on my article.
And if you do find this girl, maybe go monogamous with her, see if she wants a family and kids herself, if you don’t and she does you should let her go because you are holding her back. But remember this article and what I said. You might regret it for the rest of your life. Because if she passed most or the entire checklist you will probably be one of the 50% of marriages that work and be very happy together.
I don’t think you wanting to sleep with other girls is a good enough excuse to break up with a girl like this. We are animals, we will always want to fuck other girls, that’s how we are, every girl wants to fuck other guys to, girls are the smart ones sometimes and repress those urges. Why would you leave a perfect girl who loves having passionate sex with you for dealing with the plethora of shit that you will meet in loud annoying night clubs or on tinder?
In summary. REASONS TO GET MARRIED
- You want a family and kids
- You have found a special girl who checks all the boxes
Don’t get married for any other reasons. If you do what a lot of guys do and get married to a lightly screened girl just to have a family because society/parents told you so, you will be risking divorce, child support and your happiness down the road.
So that’s it guys something to consider. I’m not saying never get married. I’m just saying be open to the possibility of it if that needle in a haystack comes along and wants a family. You never know you might like it and it might be the best decision you have ever made.