In this article I will explain how to approach a girl.
A lot of guys don’t know how to approach a girl. They don’t know how to overcome the fear of approaching, the fear of rejection, what to say, how to act and how to transition from a cold approach into a conversation.
Today I will teach you exactly how to do all of that!
Before you learn how to approach a girl, you first must overcome your fear of approaching and rejection.
Learning how to approach a girl without overcoming fear of rejection is like learning how to drive just by watching YouTube videos but being too scared to even set foot in a car! You must overcome approach anxiety first.
So for you to do that I want you to first read my articles on this below.
Ok so now that you have overcome at least enough approach anxiety to approach a girl it’s time to learn how to do it!
In this article I will list how to approach her in all the different settings which are.
Online (Tinder, Bumble, other dating apps/sites, Social Media)
Day Game (Mall, Beach, Bus Stop, Train, Outdoor Mall, anywhere!)
Night Game (Bars and clubs)
Social Circle (Bbq’s, Parties, Gatherings, Work)
Because online approach doesn’t require as much explanation because they can’t see your body language lets go over that first.
Ok so assuming you’ve read my article how to get laid on tinder and set up your account and pictures we are good to go!
Now you will read a lot online about all these different ways to approach a girl online using all these creative and funny pickup lines but I will instead explain to you what really works and what works for me.
The mentality you need to have is a screening mentality. You want to screen out all the girls who aren’t keen on you or just want attention, fun, entertainment, Instagram followers and all that.
You want to screen for the girls who are “yes” girls. These girls will be receptive, talk to you back, ask you questions and will be keen to meet up. You just need to find them!
So this is all I do on Tinder, you can use this same approach for other online forms of pickup including direct messaging her on social media.
Direct openers or observational openers
90% of the time I will simply open a match with
“Hey how are you?”
“Hey how was your weekend?”
“Hey how’s your day going?”
That’s it! no funny lines, now creative openers, just keep it simple, remember you aren’t trying to “win her over” “entertain her” “impress her” you are simply trying to see which is the girl who really wants you.
Why don’t I use creative funny lines? Well I have experimented with this before; I used really creative, funny, engaging opening lines on girls and what happened?
I got the girl initially engaged a lot but after a few messages it went nowhere, because she was one of those no or maybe girls. Read a difficult girl remains difficult to learn more.
So I realised not to waste energy and just go through blasting my usual direct openers and I continue to get great results with that!
The other times when I don’t use a basic opener like the above I will use a simple observational opener that I make up from observing something about her photos.
An example could be she is on holiday in Greece and I will say “oh you’ve been to the Greek islands? Where abouts!?”
Something like that. But like I said MOST of the time I just use a regular “hey how are you?”
So just do that for now guys and screen for those yes girls.
“REAL LIFE” GAME (Day Game, Night Game, Social Circle)
Ok guys here’s where a girl will see you come up to her so you need to be a little conscious to your body language when you approach a girl in a real life situation.
You want to make sure your body language displays the following.
Good posture (stand up straight, head up, chin up, shoulders back)
Open body language (arms open not crossed, arms to sides, chest out, legs shoulder width apart)
Eye contact (good eye contact but not too much but not too little and no eyes darting around like you’re anxious, have a friendly confident sexy relaxed look in your eyes if that makes sense.
No fidgeting (slow deliberate movements)
When you approach her it sometimes helps to have your body turned to an angle so you aren’t approaching her head on and it’s to intimidating, so in a bar or club it could look like you are side on to her and you turn your head and sort of open her looking side on or behind you if that makes sense. But a head on approach still works just don’t go in so forcefully
Approach her nice and slow, calm, relaxed, open, confidently, strongly
A light touch on her upper arm or small of back to get her attention also works
Ok guys those body language tips should help you out, now for how to approach her in each situation.
This one is the easiest way to approach a girl and the way most guys used (before tinder came out) because it often doesn’t require a cold approach so it’s easy plus you don’t get “rejected” as much.
You could be in a typical social circle situation like work, a bbq, a gathering, a party, a dinner, you know, something like that, and you see a hottie, here’s what you say.
“Hey, having a good night?” “So how do you know .. (birthday girl, friend, host) ?”
“Hey I’m (your name) Nice to meet you, how do you know..what brings you here?”
See? Easy.. easy but simple stuff that works.
You’re both stuck at the place plus she isn’t going to reject you because it will be awkward to her plus she can’t reject you for being friendly so you will definitely get into a conversation with her. Then during the conversation you can learn more about her and if she’s available etc.
This is where it gets harder because this is something people rarely do, she may be at the bus stop, on the train, in the café, at the mall, at the beach. She’s a hottie, you want to talk to her, you will, let’s make it happen, ok.
The easiest girls to approach in day game situations are the girls working at the shops or sitting down at a bench or stationary in some way.
With these girls they will say something like “need a hand with anything?” “how’s your day going today?” so they sort of approach you in a customer worker way.
What you do is be super friendly to her and tell her about your day and ask her about hers, you need to try and get into a conversation with her. Once you are in a conversation with her and she seems keen you can say “hey I know this is a bit random but is it cool if I can grab your number?” or “hey I know this is a bit random but you’re pretty cute is it cool if I get your number?”
With the other girls, well if they are stationary like sitting on bench just walk up to them nice and slowly and say “hey I know this is random but I just saw you and thought you were kinda cute so I wanted to meet you/say hi” or even simply “hey I know this is kinda random but I just saw you and thought you were kinda cute and wanted to know if I can get your number?”
Nice and simple but it works. If she’s curious, keen and available she will give you a shot even if you approached her with something like “hey can I grab your number?”
Another way to do the approach if she’s sitting down and you see her is walk past her first then turn back after a little walk and go back and open her.
If she’s walking past you do the same, walk past her, then jog back, tap her on the shoulder, place yourself in front of her at a distance of at least a meter away not to scare her then open her with the exact same line.
That’s it for day game, that’s all you need, trust me.
Night game is loud, dark, competition is everywhere, girls have their guards up, they might be intoxicated, they are improbable places to pick up girls but regardless here’s how to approach a girl in a night game setting.
The best spot is between the dance floor and the bar where girls will be walking back and forth and it’s less noisy and busy.
You need to come in at an energy level at or above hers and use a direct or observational/situational opener like
“Hey how’s your night going?”
“Hey I like your dress, shoes, bag, hair”
“Hey what drink is that”
“Hey do you come to this place often?”
“I swear I’ve seen you here before?”
“Where have I seen you before?”
Don’t worry about those canned opinion openers that you’ve read about, they might get a girl talking but they are to indirect and you just look like you’re researching so its socially weird.
An example of those opinion openers that a lot of guys try and do is “hey excuse me, me and my buddy over there were having a debate and wanted to know if you can help us, who lies more? Girls? Or guyysss?”
I remember when I was 19 starting out I used that on a girl on the dance floor and she looked at me confused and goes “why the hell would you even ask that right now?”
That’s when I never used an opinion opener again lol
I don’t recommend dance floor pickups but here’s the best way
Don’t be a full on pro dancer just dance basic with yourself or mates and try to get eye contact and when you see a girl you like basically dance up to her and try to dance with her face to face or come from the side and dance with her without saying anything.
I leant that going up to a girl cold on a dance floor and shouting in her ear “hey how are you?” usually results in her turning her back on you because its loud and you guys can’t hear each other anyway.
Start dancing with her first then if it’s going well dance a bit more “touchy” where you hugging, grinding and at the same time talking to her nice and close, then go into a kiss or say “let’s go somewhere quiet to talk”
HOW TO TRANSITION INTO CONVERSATION
Ok guys so you have opened her, but how do you keep it going?
Well what you need to do for the first few seconds or minute is keep hammering her with questions and try to feed off what she says back to ask more questions and get her talking.
Let’s say you have sat down next to her in the park and opened her with “hey I know this is random but I just walked past and saw you and thought you were cute and wanted to meet you” this is how a typical conversation might look.
Her “oh ok, haha thanks”
Me “im (your name)
Her “im bethJ”
Me “how’s your day going?”
Her “it’s going good I’m just on my break”
Me “oh ok where about’s do you work?”
Her “At Zara”
Me “oh yeah how’s that going, like it?”
Her “yeah its going good but I’m still on holiday mode because I just got back from Europe”
Me “oh really! Nice! Where did you go?”
Boom that’s how it works, now you are in conversation.
It’s the same for all the above forms of approaching.
As far as the conversation, that will be a different article. This article is how to approach a girl.
Ok guys that’s how its done, once you overcome some of your fear of rejection and start approaching girls like this you will get results, you will also get “rejected” HEAPS but that’s part of the numbers game, it doesn’t have much to do with you so don’t worry and have fun!
The important thing is you see a girl you like and you take action and approach her!
Any questions or comments please write below!